So, I’ve been remembering the horror of my own divorce when it felt like the entire world was falling down on top of me and crushing me, my hopes, my dreams and everything else to death. I was incapable of seeing things through anyone’s lenses except my own. And, I was scared to death. My ex-husband flouted a “maxed out” credit card… pointing his blaming finger at me and I was devastated. I thought I would go to jail, lose my kid… the world was crushing me. BUT, when it came out that I was a stay-at-home mom caring for our 6-month-old child, that I used that credit card once a week to buy groceries, that it was the only form of money that I had for almost a year and that my husband only paid the minimum payment each month … well, it didn’t look so bad, right?
Now, were my worst fears (going to jail, my kid being taken away) realized? God no! To look back on them now, they seemed absurdly lopsided to the offense. Divorce will do that to you. It makes even the best of us crazy, and that’s okay. I mean, for a little while. It is always helpful to reach out for help – friends, family… strangers on a train, or better yet, someone trained to help. There are plenty of mental health practitioners out there – some even specialize in divorce.
Two things I hope you will take away from this: there are two (or three) sides to every story and there is no shame in asking for help. Divorce can be very hard, but if you’re unhappy, in an abusive situation, you’ve grown apart… if there are more reasons to split than stay together, I am here if you need me. And, I’ve got some friends who can help you too.