So… I recently hired a company to write my blogs. Anyone who follows surely can tell that. I don’t know who “you” are… my “audience” but I pride myself in, above all other things, being full of integrity and being authentic. So, I am back… and I am grateful for anyone who is reading. I hope this means something to you… it means so much to me.
Over my life, I have been in love 8 times. This includes young love, but not my high school love. Eight times, that’s a lot, right? I’ve had seven heart breaks. Maybe more, because sometimes a hard crush can feel like love …
I consider myself LUCKY. Very lucky. You know the old saying: better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all. Cliches are cliches for a reason.
I feel so inspired to write because I’ve been tuning into this amazing (AMAZING) song by Chris Stapleton: Cold. Even as I write that four-letter word, chills run down my spine and I look to the sky and sigh. This song kicks me in the pants. I can’t stop listening to it. It is the penultimate break-up song (and before anyone judges me for using “penultimate,” just know I had to look it up before I typed it here… lawyers aren’t infallible and we DON’T know it all).
This song… THIS SONG! It starts with a piano… a gentle, delicate piano. Just like your relationship started… delicately. No feelings hurt… when everyone is tip-toeing. The base drum starts after the piano has lulled you in… signaling drama… letting you know that something is about to happen. Chris (let’s be clear, I do not know Chris Stapleton and he is not making royalties off this blog) cries “girl, the way you broke my heart… shattered like a rock through a window” with his entire soul, his bleeding voice… and you KNOW sh*t’s about to get real.
He doesn’t even know she is unhappy. Doesn’t see the break-up coming.
Cue the drama of violins (not violence that, so often, and so unfortunately accompanies break-ups). The violins join… but not at an 8-count … the first violins come in when you would expect, but the second intro of the violins is off. Kind of setting you off, right. Like your first fight, or even the last fight… confusing. The next verse is a “last stand” … please don’t leave, we can work this out… counseling… what about the children, what will “they” say, please wait until after the holidays… ……………. as break-ups go.
And then, Chris tells his love she destroyed him … he asks how he will live without her… what will he tell people… cue the bluesy guitar, which sings it’s guts out. Chris begs … telling his love he is still “on fire.”
And then, after one more heartbreaking, soul-drenched chorus, the song ends just like it began… with a soft piano. Gentle…
My wish for anyone separating ways is gentleness… your love started gentle. Please, please take the care to end it gently, especially if you have kids.
At our office, we guide clients through the gentle ending of their relationships… their break-ups… through the legal concept of “dissolution of marriage.”
If you are going through heart break, heartache… I have been there. Please know we empathize with you. Change is hard… but if you are unhappy, unfulfilled… if you are “Cold” … please find the courage to make a change. Happiness is a great change. We will be here when you’re ready… when you need us.