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How do you tell your spouse you want a divorce?

You and your spouse tried counseling, taking time for yourselves and talking with loved ones. Still, your marriage feels empty. Divorce seems like the only sensible response to the matter, but how do you start that conversation?

Psychology Today offers tips for telling your marital partner you want a divorce. Learn how to navigate a tough conversation efficiently.

Make sure you want this

Have a long conversation with yourself about whether you want a divorce. Once you bring up the matter with your spouse, you cannot take your words back. Just like you may talk with family and friends about your marital struggles, talk to them about your desire to divorce to see what they have to say.

Think about how to break the news

Once you decide divorce presents the right option, consider how to break the news. Wait until you both have time to sit together uninterrupted. Try not to bring up the matter during a heated argument, when your spouse seems stressed or during the holidays.

Do not turn divorce into a threat

Depending on the current state of your marriage, you and your marital partner may not get along right now. If not, try not to threaten her or him with divorce during an argument. Not only may you feel bad if you do so, but your words and emotions could make your divorce unnecessarily difficult. Wait until you calm down and have a strategy before you say anything.

Telling your spouse that you want a divorce cannot be easy. With the right tips and approach, you have a better idea of how to ease the pain for both of you.


Christine S. Cook has earned a reputation in the legal community for her professionalism and among her clients for the care and personal attention she gives to every case.

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