Ghosting…?

So, there is this article that keeps popping up everywhere… it’s called something like “how to keep a good man from leaving” or something like that. I won’t post a link to it because I think the concept is, how do you say, RIDICULOUS.

First… let’s start with the concept of a good man. By saying a person, man or otherwise, is “good,” the article implies that this person is kind, thoughtful, generous, considerate… you know, “good.” I don’t know what is on your “wish list” for a mate, but mine includes a good sense of humor, good with kids, good to the environment, honest, possesses humility, grace and self-confidence. Those “good” qualities we all desire in ourselves and others.

The second offensive part of this article is its implication that one person can “keep” another from doing or not doing anything. Anyone ever see that poster that says something like “if you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they’re ‘yours’ and if not they never were?” That one has to “keep” someone from leaving him/her is pitiful. But, it happens… I know it does. These long-term marriages where one or both spouses is too afraid to leave – the couple is absolutely miserable, they hate each other, yet are completely disabled without one another.

HELLO!? That’s called co-dependent… and there are self-help books on that. Go get yourself one.

We all deserve to be happy… we all deserve a chance at love.

And, some of us need the courage to go get it… if the people around you are stoking the fires of your fear, find someone who will support you and your ideals and your decision to leave. It will be hard at first… but it will be worth it.

Here is a link to an article about spousal bullying. Yes, it happens. If it is happening to you, please find yourself some peace.

Is my spouse a bully?